A Teacher's Ruminations

I have been doing a lot of soul searching over the last couple of days. 
And, I've come to the conclusion that I must change my attitude - shift my stance - so I can assume a new perspective. So that I am more aligned with what's important and may add value to my life.  
Focusing on the negative is not making me stronger or healthier. In fact, I am often stressed because I worry a lot about unimportant things. I obsess over situations out of my control. I dismiss positive experiences that would help lift my spirits and align my focus towards what's important. 
I need a distraction from my own thoughts.
I need balance in my life. Not because I work hard to prepare my classes. Not because I read a lot of professional literature. Not because I wrote a lot this summer and will continue to do so now that school has started. But because I have been obsessing on the wrong things. Mostly, I obsess about what someone said or did and what it says about me as a teacher. I obsess about …

Today was my second day back at work.
The students haven't started yet. Their first day is next Tuesday.
At this time next week, I will have met my new students.
I looked at my class list yesterday, and again today. I studied my new students' faces. None of them are familiar to me. A new class. Not my old class from last year. I let myself be sad for a moment.
I loved my class last year.
I swallowed hard. I took a deep breath.
This is the new group that I will love. As much as I loved last year's group.
I have a lot to think about as I organize my classroom.
I make sure that everything is in its place. I lay out the flexible seating choices.
I think about the first day. The first week.. The first month.
I sit at my desk -  yes, I have a desk -  and look out across the room. I can see the cozy reading area -  two couches,  two chairs,  an individual desk against the wall (to give kids the choice to work alone), a bench, a large bulletin board, a white board.
I look over to …

I would be lying if I said I didn't have mixed feelings about admitting that I'm looking forward to the start of school in a couple of weeks.

Mixed feelings about admitting that I'm looking forward to returning to school in a couple of weeks?

Wait.

I am looking forward to returning to school in a couple of weeks!

There. I said it...at least in this blog...because saying this out loud in some circles may sound nerdy.

After all, who wants to return to work after a vacation? Who wouldn't want to extend their vacation if they could do so?

Admittedly, summer vacations are my favorite time off from school. But, what teacher doesn't look forward to summer vacations? They are stress free and rejuvenating. They provide a time to refuel, relax and reinvigorate for the new school year. They allow for extended travel time, reading - novels (adult and middle grades books for me!) and professional books - and for spending more quality time with family and friends. They are also a…

My daughter got married a little over a week ago.


I am now a mother-in-law and eventually will become a grandmother. It's a lot to wrap my head around.
Although the title of mother-in-law does not scare me,  the label of "grandmother" is a bit more than I can chew.
To make light of this, I have been polling my friends for names other than "grandma"  so I can train (not really, but yes really)  my grandkids not  to call me grandma.  Of course, I am joking...sort of. 
The idea of being a grandma is scarier than being a "mother-in-law" despite all of the latter's negative connotations. I love my son-in-law and couldn't be happier that he is my oldest daughter's husband.
So, what do I do about becoming a grandma? Although this is not an imminent situation in the least, I am still thinking about it. And, although I joke about it, I recognize that this worry is all about getting older and coming to terms with what that means for me. After all, I&…