A Teacher's Ruminations

I am a struggling writer. I struggle with topic selection, getting started and a lack of self-confidence. And, although I love to write, I realize that I love the IDEA of being a writer more. The process of writing, with its concomitant failures and less-than-perfect results, is not a selling point for me. In my mind's eye, I can almost see a blank book cover with my name on it, even if I can't envision what the book is about. I can imagine myself a part of an elite group of teacher-writers who are disciplined, serious and have interesting things to say. I tell myself, "That could be you! If only..." And there my thinking trails off and I return to a state of numbness where "if only" becomes a long list of self-pitying excuses for why I will never write well enough so that others can appreciate and learn from what I have to say. Now that I've confessed my deepest feelings of inadequacy, I can let them go. Just like that. I resolve to stop thinking about ...

My One Little Word (OWL) for 2015...drum roll, please...is..." confident "! I came about this word fairly quickly during the last two weeks of 2014. I started by making a list. The first word on that list was "confident". Then, came a stream of words and short phrases - assertive, confidence, be myself, just do it!, health, communication, exercise, and change. My methodical but slow search for the perfect OLW for 2015, made me realize that the word "confident" addressed or subsumed all the other words on my list quite nicely. In order to be assertive and stand up for myself, I need to be confident in my professional abilities and expertise. That way I can speak eloquently for whatever I want to accomplish in my job. In order to focus on my health during 2015, such as exercising more, I need to be confident that I can develop a daily 30 minute exercise routine, whatever shape or form that happens to take. In order to be myself, I need the confid...