I just read a recent Mindsteps Blog post about teacher
resolutions and making mistakes. The skinny on that is that
teachers start out each new school year by resolving not to make
mistakes. And, even though we know that's humanly impossible -
we all make mistakes - as teachers we hope that we can get it
together by getting on a clean page at the start of each school
year so that we can get it right this time. Or, should I
say...perfect? But, alas! We know, especially those of us that
have been teaching for many years and therefore (should) know
better, that mistakes are bound to happen and the harder we run
from them the harder we'll be hit by the consequences when they
catch up with us. And, catch up they will! So, instead of
vowing not to make mistakes. To get it right (perfect) this
time. To make the best bulletin boards ever. To not speak a
harsh word. To have all lessons planned out way in advance or
just in advance. To always have morning meeting, class meeting,
closing circle, writing workshop, reading workshop, math workshop
and on and on, running smoothly the way it's supposed to look
like according to those wonderful professional books some of us
devour like other people eat chocolate cake, I, for one, plan to
make sure that I face my mistakes head on. Instead of running
away, I resolve to study what happened and do something to make
up for the mistakes or change something the next time I'm
confronted with a similar situation. Isn't that what we tell
students all the time? Robyn Jackson is right. Even though we
reassure our students that making mistakes is part of learning we
don't believe it for ourselves, and maybe not even for our
students. In fact, we go as far as saying that no learning
happens without mistakes. We go ahead and try to hide our
mistakes. To stuff them away in the dark closet of our teacher
guilt which gets more and more crowded all the time. We pretend
they didn't happen. We blame someone else for why our lesson
didn't work. We get angry at the class for not doing what we
planned which they might have done if we'd planned. We get angry
at ourselves but we don't recognize that anger as having anything
to do with our guilt and shame about making mistakes in the first
place. Instead, we go through another day at school hoping that
the next day we'll forget our mistakes and resolve not to make
another mistake for the rest of the year. Until...
So, when do we get off this roller coaster and realize,
acknowledge, embrace, even celebrate our mistakes? When do we
use these mistakes as learning opportunities? If we don't
practice this ourselves then how can we expect our students to
feel comfortable making mistakes and to learn from them? So, I
have a new resolution for this fall. (Will this be a mistake?
To make a resolution, I mean? If it is then I can examine it the
way I would any other mistake and learn so that I can do better
next time. Hmmm...Is that the purpose of examining our mistakes?
So that we can get it better next time? Might be a mistake.)
Anyway, here it goes: I resolve to recognize when I've made a
mistake (not hard to do since this is often experienced
viscerally, first). I will then attempt to make up for my
mistake or change my teaching so that it reflects what I've
learned as a result of my mistake. Rather than wallowing in my
mistake I resolve to wallow in the solution to the mistake - what
will I change, make up, adjust, take away, add, etc as a result?
Wish me luck. This is a new approach to the beginning of
the school year for me. I can feel my throat getting stuck as I
try to shift my mind set to this new way of thinking. All new
ways of thinking are painful; this won't be any different.
Comments
Ruth
I like that..."embracing imperfection". I'll have to remember that. Best wishes to you, too.
Elisa