I found this question so intriguing at the time that I decided to write a public response on my blog...that I never finished and therefore never made public. In light of recent challenging personal and professional events, it's time I finish my response to this question and, in turn, reflect on whether or not I've been successful in taking up the challenge offered by my director.
At the time and in the space I found myself, the answer to this question was quite simple: be positive. Perhaps, this is too trite and therefore meaningless but after a full year reflecting on what gives me joy in all aspects of my life, I have found that the simplicity inherent in being positive - looking at the bright side - resonates well with the road I'd chosen to travel.
Or, so I thought.
The human mind is highly susceptible to all kinds of influences and it doesn't take much to distract us from our determination to develop (or maintain) new habits or ways of seeing the world...if we aren't careful. I don't think I would be wrong to say that it's sometimes easier to fall back on old and unproductive habits of mind than to struggle at developing new ways of responding to the world. If we look hard enough, we will always find something to veer us of our course and to break our determination.
So, maybe that's what happened to me or maybe the circumstances were such that I had no other choice but to hunker down and dig in my heels. The old dichotomy - who is the victim here and does it matter? In the end, we only hurt ourselves when we allow outside events to rule over us or, as my kids used to say, "be the boss of us".
Which is to say that I lost my resolve to be positive and instead found only negatives to bolster my arguments. Not that the negatives weren't there but I let them eat at my insides until I became sick, literally and figuratively. Who gained? Who lost? Right now, it doesn't seem to matter. Suffice it to say that by losing sight of what's important, I once again find myself picking up the pieces and what seemed oh, so important isn't so important anymore.
It's all about perspective
and, yes, it's about being positive.
I have another opportunity - we always do - and I won't mess up this time.
Cross-posted at SOL - Two Writing Teachers.